How many of you mom's out there did Baby Wise? I am trying to start that with Sadie now but I am having a very hard time letting her cry herself to sleep. I never thought it would be so heart wrenching. But last night after crying for an hour, I just had to pick her up, and of course she immediately stopped crying I held her for about 30 minutes, she went to sleep and I put her down and she slept 5 hours!! But now, I am just not sure what to do...we have to get some sleep, but how long do I let her cry? And if I make a mistake one night by picking her up, is it even harder to get her back on track? Just wondering...any wisdom and advice would be great friends!!!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
such strength...
Yesterday morning I went to get Sadie out of her bed because she was crying (what's new!!) And she had actually pulled her arm out of her blanket and out of her clothes!! I knew she was laying there moving a good bit, but I had no idea she could actually get her arm out of her clothes. And all before the age of 2 weeks...what a smart girl!! Which by the way, today is Sadie's 2 week birthday! Can you believe how quickly it has gone by??
How many of you mom's out there did Baby Wise? I am trying to start that with Sadie now but I am having a very hard time letting her cry herself to sleep. I never thought it would be so heart wrenching. But last night after crying for an hour, I just had to pick her up, and of course she immediately stopped crying I held her for about 30 minutes, she went to sleep and I put her down and she slept 5 hours!! But now, I am just not sure what to do...we have to get some sleep, but how long do I let her cry? And if I make a mistake one night by picking her up, is it even harder to get her back on track? Just wondering...any wisdom and advice would be great friends!!!
How many of you mom's out there did Baby Wise? I am trying to start that with Sadie now but I am having a very hard time letting her cry herself to sleep. I never thought it would be so heart wrenching. But last night after crying for an hour, I just had to pick her up, and of course she immediately stopped crying I held her for about 30 minutes, she went to sleep and I put her down and she slept 5 hours!! But now, I am just not sure what to do...we have to get some sleep, but how long do I let her cry? And if I make a mistake one night by picking her up, is it even harder to get her back on track? Just wondering...any wisdom and advice would be great friends!!!
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We bought BabyWise and I read through it. I wouldn't say we "did it" really. I followed their guidelines for feeding which I think are reasonable.
We eventually let Cecilia cry it out after the doctor told us that she shouldn't be waking up to feed anymore...maybe around 7 to 8 months...because before then she was only waking up once to feed. (she breast fed exclusively for 6 months) I never let her cry more than an hour either Laura. After an hour I think its just too difficult on them and on Mommies.
I'd say don't sweat it. At two weeks old she's going to stick to her own schedule and when they're this little they want to be held. They're used to being close to you and you're only bonding more fully with her when you hold her. Cecilia was the same way and wouldn't let me lay her down much at all but she'll get past this stage and your arms will get a break! :)
Oh and another thing we did was put a heating pad in Cecilia's cradle on the highest setting for about 30 minutes before we were gonna lay her down. Then we'd remove it and her bed would be nice and warm (you might want to test the sheet to make sure its not too hot) and she would stay asleep.
In those early days I did get her to sleep first...but even then when we laid her down she'd wake up...and then a friend suggested the heating pad and it was a lifesaver!!! I think it maintains the temp they're used to...instead of going from your warm body to a cold bed they go into a warm bed and it is less of a shock.
Maybe it will work for Lil' Miss Sadie!
I read babywise and followed their suggestions for sleep, eat, play...but I didn't try to keep the exact time...I just couldn't let him cry, it didn't seem right, and if he was hungry, I fed him. Now when he got to be 5 or 6 months old, I started letting him go longer between meals, but I just felt bad making him wait to eat if he was hungry. I don't like to wait if I'm hungry! Everyone that I know who used the book also waited a few months before really getting into the book. Good luck with it!!
Bobbie
I don't think that I could let Cady cry for an hour straight! I'm doing good to let her go 10 minutes before picking her up. I think when they are still so young they need to be reassured that someone is there. She is starting to sleep in 4 hour stretches at night now though so take heart :-)
I'm reading "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" right now upon the recommendation of Beth and Sara (a high school friend). I'll let you know if I have any tips after finishing it. I've ordered Baby Wise too because I thought I might use some of the strategies later on (we have some friends who have had great success with it), but I've heard mixed reviews about it. Apparently the guy who wrote it lied about his credentials. I also heard that his children hate him and that he got kicked out of his church, but that's not to say that some of his methods are not useful.
We also have a book on sleeping by Brazelton. A lot of the things I've been reading seem to indicate that their wake and sleep cycles are so crazy during the first couple of weeks or so that it's very difficult to enforce a schedule. It becomes easier to "train" them at about 2 months according to the Brazelton method (I think it's his - I've been reading several different things so I could be remembering wrong!).
laura you have to do what's right for you! you have to remind yourself she is only 2 weeks old and it will take time to "really" get her on a schedule and her learn to sleep on her own. i could never let brock scream it out and he has always been a great night sleeper, but he did sleep in the swing next to our bed for the first 8 weeks. maybe rock her until she's drowsy then lay her down. if she cries, wait 5 minutes and go in and rub/pat her and reassure her it's "ok". do you hold her alot when she's sleeping during the day? if so, she may just be getting use to someone holding her till she falls asleep. i did this alot just b/c i loved it. those are just moments you can't get back. so i guess you just have to find that balance. hope this is helping at least a little. love you!
oh yeah, have you tried a sound machine with white noise? that always seemed to help. also being swaddled and placed in a sleep positioner.
We have Eliana on a feeding schedule (a very flexible one) like Babywise and the Baby Whisperer talk about. but i also feed her earlier sometimes if she seems to be hungry. a lot of times if she wakes up from a nap early and is still fussy i feed her again even if it isn't "the time". since the routine is eat/awake/sleep, it's sometimes hard to get her back to sleep since she is used to eating when she wakes up.
we have just now started to let her cry some before she goes to sleep. we tried it in the very beginning as well, and she was just too young to calm down and would cry for the entire nap time if we let her. one day, she missed two of her naps from crying the entire time, which was so hard on all of us. i've read a lot of differing opinions about it all and some say they have done studies that show newborns (younger than 4 months i think) don't all have the neurological abilities to calm themselves down a lot of times. but, i also know moms that have let them cry from the very beginning and had no problems with their babies calming down, so it's hard to know exactly what is right, and i think a lot of it really is dependant on the baby.
i got really stressed out before because she would only sleep well when we held her, but i evenutally just decided to go with it (to a degree) because it was just making all of us miserable trying to get her to fit into what all the books said she should do. (we also tried the baby whisperer method of helping them sleep on their own, which didn't work for us but i've heard works for others.) eliana just couldn't calm down, so we gave up trying and helped her fall asleep. now, she is doing better but still needs a little bit of help at 2 months. we have started a going to sleep routine of singing a few songs, rocking and walking a little bit, and then saying a quick prayer before she goes down. it seems to wind her down a bit, but she still cries when i put her down most days. for the most part, she can fall asleep after 15 minutes of crying, which is much better than what we went through in the beginning.
so, i guess my take is, follow the feeding guidelines, but for now just do what you have to do to get her to sleep. you know her better than anyone else, so do what you think she needs. swaddling helps a lot and the noisemaker and music has helped eliana as well. at night, we also sometimes keep her with us between her early night feedings and that way she is good and rested for the middle of the night. she sleeps much better when she is rested, so she usually gives us a longer stretch before she wakes up again needing to eat. vip usually hasn't gotten to hold her much that day anyways, so we just take it as an opportunity to rest on the couch watching some tv or a movie or just catching up on the day.
on a side note, i think our daughters are going to be good friends! Eliana is notorious for squirming her way out of her blanket and clothes at night. if you havent' already, you should seriously think about getting a swaddler blanket. most of the time, she can't get out of that one, but sometimes she still finds a way to freedom.
Do what your heart tells you. If you think it is wrong to hear her cry, please dont stress yourself out by letting her cry longer than you can handle. I do not believe any one book has the answer for one baby. I have to deal with Hannah completely different than Leah. I started the CIO thing at 6-7 months. And kept them on a 3 hour feeding schedule during the day and let them go as long as they could at night. Go back through my blog, I think I mention some of what we went through. Good luck!!!
Ok, I haven't read the other replies, and I'm a few days late, but I'll give me two cents, anyway because I can't help it. LOL
We did Babywise/Baby Whisperer eat, sleep, play, but I did not do cry it out in any fashion until they were at least 4 months. For my kids, at this young age, they needed reassurance that I was there. So, I gave them 5-10 minutes to see if they were just trying to get comfy again. If it got to be 10 minutes and they were still fussing, or got to full on crying, I'd pick them up.
At 2 weeks, they seem to be coming out of the newborn coma and starting the whole day is night, night is day thing. That's when I was careful not to let them sleep more than 2.5 hours at a stretch during the day. I slowly stretched their awake time to three hours between feeds (from teh start of one feed ot the start of the next). So, she wake up and eat, then be awake for 1-1.5 hours (eventually), and then would sleep for 1-1.5 hours, wake, eat, etc. But, it took awhile for them to work up to that amount of awake time.
Also, if she's still wiggling out of her swaddle and it seems to bother her, I can send you pics of a way to swaddle that's near impossible for them to get out of. It kind of looks like a straight jacket, but Cailyn woudl be fussing and inconsolable and as soon as I'd swaddle her this "miracle" way, she'd settle right down and be ready for sleep.
So, hang in there. It DOES get better! And it IS possible to love this little person more than anything in the world and yet long for the day when they leave the house just so you can sleep. LOL
Just find what works for you and stick with it. The "sleep training" is worth it, but I say wait until she's old enough to soothe herself and at least be able to put a thumb in her mouth or whatever (for my kids it was blankies). For now, I'd focus on helping her distinguish between night and day. Establish clear nap and bedtime routines, those will signal her that its time to sleep. For us, it was bath, lotion/massage, jammies, nurse/bottle, swaddle, bed.
Ok, I"ve rambled enough. You know you can always ask me anything and I'll share more than you ever want to know. LOL
I love you, girl!
I am late, but please forgive me. I seem to be perpetually late these days. We 'did' Baby Wise. Our way. I don't much believe in a strict feeding schedule until they are older (like 10 mths!) but I am cranky like that. I am a demand feeder. As for sleeping, we waited until about 4 to 6 weeks to really work on that hard core. By then I had really learned my children's different cries. And felt more comfortable about letting them fuss. However, I sleep my babies in my room with me (in a bassinet) until they are about three months old, so that made it really easy to just reach over and pat baby's back (yeah, I let 'em sleep on their tummies, too. Rebel that I am) or rub their tummy or just touch them some way to reassure them. The girls both slept through the night within just three or four days. Thomas was a different case because of all his stomach troubles and the surgeries. So, he doesn't count. Kid was nearly seven months before he slept through the night. Ugly stuff, there.
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